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Make it like that famous country singer 
Or that guy I saw last night on Jerry Springer
Clean me up but let me keep my edge, 
In the day I like to keep it dignified 
But at night you know I got another side 
And I don't give a damn, cause I am what I am 
Even if it's really really bad 
I've got an Ape Drape, yes I do 
They're givin' em to anyone, and that means you 
You can drive to Riverside and get one too 
And then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do 
Go ahead and buzz it 'round the ears 
I've been growin' that one braid back there for years
I've had it since the first time I saw Queensryche 
The front may conform to society 
But the back says I have personality 
Even if it's really really, even if it's really really bad 
Make it short in front and long in back! 
If the top's not short enough that it stands up 
I could be thrown out of the Bad Boy Club
But don't you lay a finger on my pony tail 
Now fix my kid so he looks just like me, 
And then matching crazy pants are all we need 
Some may call it child abuse I just call it bonding with your Dad.
Norco Neck Warmer...Norco
Hockey Hair...Canada
Achey-Brakey Hair...Nashville
Mullet...Hoboken
Forbidden Hair...Europe
Sho-lo...Florida