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Ahhh...sweet youth   
The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute   
Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator   
Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked on the weed   
And the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed   
And the sex and the mud and blood and the shit   
Let's go hit the   
Nitro-burning funny bong   
Just one hit, your life goes wrong   
Nitro-burning funny bong   
Another stupid stoner song   
Fat and lame   
The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed   
By a bong, and a schlong   
Yes now we have all seen how games can go wrong   
My brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased   
Laden with pus it hangs well past my knees   
A swarm of narcotics could get me through this   
My manager's gonna be pissed   
Let's go hit the   
Nitro-burning funny bong   
Just one hit, your life goes wrong   
Nitro-burning funny bong   
Another stupid stoner song   
Oh, can you take it   
Yeah, do a monster   
Oh, can you deal with it?   
We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys   
Now I'm old   
Strapped in my cell as I cultivate mold   
In the twilight of my years I am still a drug addict   
I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong   
Moistened with lotion, wrapped in a sarong   
I live like a king but you know that I act like a faggot   
Once was a warrior, now just a sponge   
High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge   
My glorious destiny it turned to shit   
Can I get another hit?   
From the   
Nitro-burning funny bong   
Just one hit, your life goes wrong   
Nitro-burning funny bong   
Another stupid stoner song   
Oh, can you take it   
Yeah, do a monster   
Oh, can you deal with it?   
We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys